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“Was in johannesburg. A little while ago and i went through the the airport and and i went into the men s room or washroom or bathroom. However you want call it and so i walked in it to the men s room and the first thing. I hear is welcome to my office.
And this was the janitor at the johannesburg men s room that s funny who janitor eyes door. I ll make up a word cleaned the men s the toilets. Like mozart composed music. Now that man has no money that man probably has very little education.
That man is judged by the world. As having an unimportant job. And that man is a hero could be here two millions of people why because he actually saw himself as an ambassador to south africa. And his passion was was palpable and his visceral commitment to doing work at the highest level was like you don t see even from the ceos and all i m saying is even the person in the with the broken heart.
The person who s down on their knees. Whether they see it or not they have a choice to rise above their circumstances and leadership and humanity is a testament to the people who have done it i mean you read read the group you look at mandela. You know 27 years in imprisonment. When his son died.
He wasn t allowed to attend the funeral of his own son. He said. That was the one of the great pains of his own of his life. And what did he do the victim looks at something like that torture and says.
I am broken and they give up and they spend that they closed their heart. They closed their mind they closed their creativity and they blame the rest of their life on what happened to them..
But mandela what he chose to do was to use it as an opportunity because actually the things that break your heart. If you choose can open your heart and adverse fear. The world says fear is bad fear is only an opportunity for bravery training. And what he did was he used those 27 years of torture to open his himself mentally physically emotionally and spiritually to the point where when he was released and became the president of south africa.
He invited his jailers to sit in the front row at his inauguration and he was asked why and he said because if i don t i m still gonna i d still be in prison. And that s a long way of saying. But you know we do make excuses. Because we are very good at self deception because if we actually had to face the responsibility of playing with our bigness in the world.
We d have to let go of our addiction to our excuses. And and leave. What s safe am. I making sense only not at all you don t have to leave what s safe.
I mean we are addicted to crisis. Sometimes it makes no sense. We are addicted to pain. And we d have to actually leave the pain to go out to the possibility of pleasure and joy and greatness and believe it or not that frightens us so we make these excuses and then we blame people oh joe or robin.
I don t like the way he looks. I he he speaks differently. But subconsciously as you re suggesting those are just our protective mechanisms to avoid owning the responsibility of our brilliant attitude determines your altitude if you re a positive person positive things happen to you if you re a negative person negative things are going to continue to happen for you if you can put that in your scope this year. Just change your attitude wake up and smile.
How about just wake up and be grateful. It s just it s just common sense right next thing especially after a show like today life is really..
10. What happens to you and 90. What you do about it look everybody in this room. Everybody watch it everybody got something they got to deal with get to dealing with it stop complaining about it complaining about it only makes it stay present do something about it so life is 10.
What happens to you is 90. What you do about and finally don t give up when reaching your dream is difficult listen if success will easy you ve heard it a million times. Everybody would be successful it requires a grit and a toughness to be successful. But i got news for you it s something that all of you have in you now whatever you ve been through whatever.
That is guess what you still here you know what that makes you pretty tough first know that there are so many details involved in what we do and so many individuals involved in what we do so a great chef is really supported by so many others tonight. So i think what makes a great chef is surrounding yourself with those of like mindedness with a common vision common goals and in many ways are much smarter than you are remember that always work with people that are much smarter than you are the only way to really get better is to is to play with those who who can teach you and be better. So what i ve tried to do with my entire career is surround myself with talented people as you try to figure out the impossible task of juggling work and family. And you hear over and over and over again.
That you just need a lot of help we just need to be organized we need to try a little bit harder as a very successful woman a single mother of three who constantly gets asked the question how do you do it all for once. I m going to answer that question with 100 honesty here for you now because it s just us. Because it s our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth shonda.
How do you do it all the answer is this i don t whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life that almost certainly means i am failing in another area of my life. If i am killing it on a scandal. Script for work. I am probably missing bath and storytime at home if i am at home sewing my kids halloween costumes.
I m probably blowing off a rewrite i was supposed to turn in if i m accepting a prestigious award. I m missing my babies for a swim lesson if i met my daughter s debut in her school musical..
I am missing. Sandra oh s last seen ever being filmed at grey s anatomy. If i am succeeding at one. I am inevitably failing at the other that is the trade off that is the faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who s also a powerful mother you never feel 100.
Okay you never get your sea legs. You re always a little nauseous. Something is always lost something is always missing and yet. I want my daughters to see me.
And know me as a woman who works i want that example set for them and that how proud their arm. They come to my offices and know that they come to shaun to land there is a land and it is named after their mother in their world mothers. Run companies in their world mothers. Only thursday nights in their world mothers work.
And i am a better mother for it the woman. I am. Because i get to run shaundalyn because i get to ride all day because i get to spend my days making things up that woman is a better person and a better mother because that woman is happy that woman is fulfilled that woman is whole. I wouldn t want them to know than me who didn t get to do this all day long.
I didn t wouldn t want them to get to know the me who wasn t doing so lesson number three is it anyone who tells you they re doing it all perfectly is a lie. A situation where you can be in the room with masters of a craft and that could just be deal making it could be joining a small company say a fewer than 50. People or you simply get to observe one of the principles negotiating in an industry that you don t even care anything about right it could be waste management and you want to go into high tech. But if you sit in a room with someone who s an absolute pro at crafting deals negotiating getting past no those skills and maybe those relationships start to snowball all right and this is what scott adams.
The creator and dilbert would call systems thinking s instead of being wedded to the outcome of a given job. You are accumulating skills and relationships that transcend that job okay and if you choose your environments well because as i ve said before and as people like drew the ceo of dropbox..
As a friend have said you re the average of the five people you associate with most right so if you take just a few years have the patience a few years to really develop core competencies that allow you to craft your own reality and life negotiation. Deal making getting past. Know etc. Learning how to pitch how to get someone s attention.
In 30 seconds. So. That you can then create the desire and ultimately ask for some type of action. Once you develop those.
Then you can really just create the map for the next decade in the next. Several decades. So that would be it it would be learned before you earn. And it s never too late to do that so i don t care.
If you re coming out of college coming at high school 30 40. Whatever it is systems thinking focus on the skills and relationships. First. And then you can just create a blank check for how much money you want to make if that is your goal challenges are such an integral part of growth in our life.
For example. A teacher will always pose higher and higher challenges to the students why because the teacher wants the student to grow in his or her understanding of the subject mathematics for instance. What s mathematics in kindergarten and primary school in secondary school in university is different why because the challenge level goes on increasing and the higher the challenge and in a better way. We are able to crack it we simply grow deeper in our understanding of the subject.
There is no meaning to life without a challenge and the symptom of greatness is to accept that challenge in a very sportive spirit and learn how to grow deeper in whatever we are doing ” ..
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