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The best moments of Handsome Jack in Borderlands 2
Arguably one of the greatest video game villains of our time.
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It’s cute that y’all. Think you’re the heroes of this little adventure. Adventure.
But you’re not welcome to pandora kiddos. I will pay you to kill i’ve got a perfect spot. All picked out for you and you don’t want to that’s fine call the hyperion suicide prevention hotline and you’ll get nothing.
But if you want a huge reward you jump off that cliff and become my take your time hey maybe after i kill you a fertile grow out of your body or something people like ferns. Notice that i’m gonna be just killing yourself. I just want you to remember one thank you so much kill it yourself dissipated you’re a all right guys.
Hunter hardy russell suck either day. Ben buddy whoever really talked once and seth and they’ll ask you for dad hey you go freeze to death out. There.
I’m not probably not bana. So get your part might have been pretty good just bought a pony made of diamonds yeah. Because i’m rich so you know that’s cool goodbye.
I’m sorry what was your name ps well miss pierce and please don’t tell me. It’s mrs pierce and break my heart this string. Doesn’t belong to you so.
Why don’t you turn around and face me okay. This train was commandeered legally under the holy nutballs. What happened to your frickin face.
I’m racking my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond phony. I thought i was gonna call it pissed for brains in honor of you. But that just feels immature hey maybe.
But stallion no that’s even worse. I tell you what i’ll give it some more thought. Oh yeah how about this lady.
I don’t even know what to call you you tell me why you look like you were head butted. A belt sander and i’ll let all you go right. Now.
My husband. Gave. Me.
A scag. Pearl ring. The pearl.
Released. Congra. Inducing pheromones.
Oh. You know what i am. So sorry.
I just. Forgive me. What where’s your husband.
Now. He’s dead that is a heartbreaker. But we’ve got something in common with him now.
At least. Let’s talk weapons everybody. Well weapons sales have skyrocketed since the opening of the vault.
No no no no no i’m talking style you look at our guns. What do they offer increased accuracy stabilizers class sweetheart. They offer class you buy from those war hippies in my lewan.
The guns name like the fervent gospel or the dialers provocateur. Some pretentious crap you get a bandit gun they can’t even spell pistol ho. Oh crap did you see your head like i should probably clarify the diamond horse.
I’ve been telling you about it’s a living horse that actually happens to be made them actually i’ll just go say hello. But stallions that’s allowed this is a message to sanctuary the last straw all of the resistance. I’m gonna spend a long time torturing you bandits come to death and i’ll enjoy it even more because hey hey.
I should say i got a little secret that i you know what you don’t need to hear it it’ll probably just confuse yet chow. What are you doing now that’s how oh it’s so frustrating you see this is what i don’t get about you bad guys you know the hero’s gonna win. But you just don’t die quickly man i example this one guy in new haven right cities burning.
Oh are dying left. And right yadda yadda yadda. This jackal rushes.
Me with a spoon a freaking spoon. And i die laughing right so i scoop on his stupid. Little eyeballs with it it’s kids are he can’t see where he’s going.
He’s pumping in the stove it up hey. I know baby had to be there. The moral is you’re a total.
I’m reading that it’s called are under the one ways to forcibly make vandals eat their own entrails. I’ll let you borrow it subside all right you mindless gun hands you’re looking for a really hot chick with blue tattoos and mystical powers. A siren specifically one named lilith.
The official reports say she died in new haven. But i’m positive she’s hiding out near sanctuary. If they catch wind of her tell me and i’ll pay you enough money to build a mansion made out of other smaller mansions.
I can actually see why you’d want to tear that particular statue down. Clearly you’re illiterate and the image of me enjoying a good book just makes your head hurt so awful. What is this even accomplish it just put you’re trying to piss me off was that your goal well mission accomplished jagoff you know when i’m curb stomping your dumb little ass to death you can take solace in the fact that one time for like eight seconds.
You mildly irritated good. For you parents must be so proud oh yeah and since you shiver brains. Evidently don’t know how to listen.
I’ll say it again stop bringing in fake sirens on these six sirens can exist in the universe. At any given time and i already know three you’re not gonna convince me you happen to find one of the remaining three just by drawing blue tattoos on some random. Chicks corpse.
No i will admit. It was mildly amusing the first dozen times. You idiots tried it but now.
My office smells like blood marker fumes. Support. It yeah.
No go ahead knock that last one down. I’ve already got a great idea for a new statue. It’s just gonna be me kicking you in the junk.
I’m gonna commission like 15 of those some oh hey you’re in the preserve. I was gonna do this whole thing. Where i’d lure you in here and kill you.
But you just like just kind of showed up thanks for saving me the trouble kiddo ghost king spell. Boo yeah. Just i guess.
That’s kind of like dancing. You are such a jackass looking for blood wing. Oh.
I moved her a few hours ago. Somewhere a little more dramatic. Handsome sorcerer here see i’m kidding after queen life.
She’s are in one tower. Thanks for helping me summon the ghost gig. Here downtown’s fund.
I want blood wing back huh shame. I’ve been doing some really interesting iridium experiments with her hate to see her go. But just give it up kiddo blood wings got all the elements at our disposal fire electricity corrosion slag and die.
Damn i forgot the last one what the hell was that again electricity and slag fire electricity corrosion is coming up next. And what am i forgetting applause that is why you don’t screw with me. You and your little friend mordecai turn yourselves in or that dumbass bird is just the beginning now where the hell is oh i had a violin somewhere i was gonna play it all sir classically god damn.
It was gonna be awesome black wears a bloody ba la the future is coming to pandora and opportunity is the bright shining beacon of that future bandits will look up from their baby meat stew and see our city shining in the distance. All right sweet sweet found. It all right.
This is a song for mordecai’s stupid bird are you unscrew you would have been hilarious. If i found it earlier shut up. If you’d blow up the nearby retaining wall and flood.
Those pits. I’d be awful. Grateful old balloon tits is still all that a crotch against me huh huh.
Me don’t get me wrong i get it once you’ve beaten prime for him for free. It’s hard to go back the second down hamburgers for cash. If you don’t know doggin about do you know what i’m talking about hey you know how i got my hands on that bulky see a few years back wilhelm and i paid a visit to your little friend panas and we beat her for hours we ripped it out of her broken fingers.
But we let her live because that’s what heroes do they show mercy dicks. I’m talking about dicks you’re an what kind of a person do this to their own daughter. The kind of guy who deserved to die.
We got the vaulty. But this isn’t over yet we got a bunch i can take him out lilith take the ball k2 tennis language what’s that saying don’t make a fight with a man nothing left to lose see i’m gonna show you just how much you have to lose and i got the most powerful sir on the planet to do it with lilith kill the vault enter we’ve just quit hey wait up i’m gonna release my dragon on in a sec just gonna get my camcorder ready here we go gonna put dubstep on footage of you guys dying and get tons of hits on the xk look i need your help know what you’re thinking don’t listen. But it’s about my mother i’ve built our cottage on the eridium blight man.
I need you to check on her please make sure everything’s okay this isn’t for me. It’s for her do it for her please what the hell smokey don’t leave yourself open like that duncan move. Duncan move.
But they’re bandits at grandma’s house jesus hey buddy. It’s me rodan let’s kill a handsome jacket. It will all go out for milkshakes no i’m just playing.
He’s still really dead grab his echo. You know what i left just wanted to tell you the lilith is doing a bang up job charge of default key for me. The warrior will be awake in no time those before they could murder old grand grand.
You know what no i don’t even have to pay himself thanks for the help man still gonna kill you though god what a bummer alright get up here and i’ll kill you myself good day. Just let me unlock the door. I don’t understand daddy say hello to your new home darling.
You’re like a princess and this is your throne. Who want mommy where’s mommy. She’s not coming back angel no freaking sure there are four treasure hunters.
Who arrived on a shuttle several hours ago they are currently on a bus to firestone great see this to him don’t be alarmed. I don’t let on there anyone is talking to you start making your way off the bus. Say with me oh go to hell.
John you drop into the mouldy dungeon. Embarrassed at how easily the sorcerer heard you into his chest. Good luck.
Escaping my dungeon jackasses. Probably should have mentioned. I can only drive him my dungeon.
So that you do exactly what you just did so have fun getting killed. By my free cash daughter. I guess he killed angel long.
Before you pulled the plug don’t you dare speak about my daughter. Lilith has quite a little mouth on her doesn’t she and as it turns out when that iridium is pumping through her body. I can stab her over and over and over and it just heels right back up.
I’m told. It’s agonizing. Oh oh.
She looks best yes. You made it to the tower. Now i can watch from my balcony use your torn limb from screaming bloody limb.
You’re a plague bandit you and your kind have corrupted and or with your greed and you’re a tricked it comes down to me to save this world from your kind. But i’m more than happy to do it you better hurry if you don’t get here quick my men are gonna bust into your precious little queen cell and murder her ass good luck bring a light back to the world. When your saviors nothing.
But a pile of ashes jumps. This is where it all ends once lilith here charges the key. I’ll control the warrior and wipe you bandits off my planet.
When you get to hell tell your vault hunter friends. I said but before i cleanse this planet for good finch. My daughter uh that it huh now the keys charged warrior kill.
No no no i can’t die like this not when i’m so close and not at the ends. Selfie project. Yeah.
I could have saved this planet. That’s yeah. I could have actually restored order.
And it wasn’t supposed to die by the hands of a child. Killing psychopath new york and savage. You’re a maniac you are banded.
And i have a goddamn hero. This is the n vault hunter either you kill jack or i’ll kill him for you what’s it gonna be that was for roland. I got bored.
I’m not gonna live i order my men can kill the queen anyway they’re probably using her head as a soccer ball right now music you .
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