how to deal with someone who wont forgive you This is a topic that many people are looking for. bluevelvetrestaurant.com is a channel providing useful information about learning, life, digital marketing and online courses …. it will help you have an overview and solid multi-faceted knowledge . Today, bluevelvetrestaurant.com would like to introduce to you What to Do When Someone Doesn’t Accept Your Apology. Following along are instructions in the video below:
You messed up and you gotta say. Im sorry. The problem is the other other person theyre not having it stick around to learn what you can do youre apologizing.
But the other person theyre not ready to accept it hey yall. Im dr. Allison.
Im a licensed clinical psychologist and if you are a regular here on my channel. Then you know that ive made it my life mission to simplify psychology to help you live a healthier and more meaningful life and part of the reality of being a human unfortunately is that we mess up. We hurt people and we do things that we have to apologize for is not fun.
Its not pleasant. But it happens so have you ever been in a situation. Where you do that you mess up and you say im sorry you apologize to the other person and then theyre not ready to accept your apology.
They say no no thanks not having it see you later have you ever wondered like what am i supposed to do now what do i do in this situation today.
Im gonna share a couple of things that are really important in that situation. The first thing is stay steady in your apology and dont take it back. I cant tell you how many times.
Ive seen or heard this happen where someone says im sorry the other person says i dont accept your apology and the other and you basically say like well i wasnt sorry anyway okay. Were not third graders on a playground right when someone doesnt accept your apology. I get it it stings and and you kind of your stunts avoid that knee jerk reaction of taking the apology back stay steady and leave the apology out there the second thing is dont get defensive apologizing is very vulnerable right because youre approaching that apology and that person kind of putting yourself out there.
Sticking your neck up there and acknowledging your wrongdoing so when someone doesnt accept your apology you often feel rejected hurt disappointed so i want you to sit with those emotions right dont flip them into anger or frustration and then get defensive acknowledge those feelings for what they are you feel hurt rejected disappointed confused caught off guard you feel stuck whatever acknowledged those emotions dont turn them around and get defensive. That will not help your case. The next thing.
Thats so important is give them some space back off a little bit. You know the phrase. If at first you dont succeed try try again that does not apply in this situation at least not right away.
If youve apologized and theyre not ready to hear it or accept your apology respect their space back off and give them some time whatever you did in the first place that prompted the apology that was bad enough right dont make it worse by disrespecting their wishes and ignoring their need for space.
Put the apology out there stick with it dont get defensive and then give them some space to process and absorb and think through that dont get all up in their space. Okay back off a little bit the next thing is show them your apology with your actions. That phrase that your parents probably said over and over as a kid actions speak louder than words that applies here whatever.
It is that youre apologizing for show. Them that youre sorry by working on or correcting. Those actions.
So if youve been more irritable with your partner. And you snapped at them. And youre apologizing for that but theyre not hearing.
It stick with it and show them be more patient be more kind be more thoughtful in your communications. If you havent been checking on a friend and you been a little too into yourself and they acknowledge that it hurt it hurt their feelings and theyre not ready to accept your apology be consistent right continue to show up for them dont just talk about it do it actions speak louder than words so if theyre not hearing. Or taking your verbal apology continue to show them through the way you interact that you are working to do things differently.
And the last thing revisit the issue right so if youve done those four things.
If youve you know stuck with the apology. You havent gotten defenses. Youve given them their space.
Youve shown them with actions. If a little bit of time has passed plus those previous acts shens revisit. The issue.
See how the relationship feels if it still feels like theres tension or awkwardness or something needs some repair revisit the issue. Acknowledge hey. I know i apologized once.
And i know we kind of talked about this but i just want to let you know i know its been some time. Im still really sorry about that i know i didnt carry my load on that project. I know it resulted in you having to do a lot more im really sorry i know i said it once.
But i just wanted to make sure you know that even after this time that apology.
Still stands by doing this you are acknowledging you really get it because youre not just apologizing. Once youre doing all those things we talked about but youre revisiting. The issue often after that time the person is a little bit more ready to hear your apology hurting somebodys feelings or not showing up for them messing up whatever yall that sucks.
But youre not alone. Thats a part of being a human apologize and if the person isnt ready to accept it try these things theyre not instant fixes. But i think youre gonna find they go a long way in repairing whatever happened.
Thank you so much for watching. This today. If you like this video.
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