STRUGGLES of being Pansexual/Bisexual Alanah Cole

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“Okay haha hello. Everybody hopefully you re having a good day. I have finally turned turned my mood around since last week. And i m doing really well today.

Oh debated for a while if i wanted to make this video. Because i really haven t touched on these type of topics in a long time. I used to make videos on my channel talking about lgbt content and stuff. And i know a lot of you guys are here because you found me through that i ll tell you guys why i haven t really gone into it.

But the reason. Why i don t want it to be my whole channel and focus is because it s not my whole life. I am alana. I like cameras i like youtube.

I like talking about emotional drama in my life yes. I m part of the lgbt community lgbtq community and yeah. I m a lot of things and so that s why i didn t really want to completely have my channel be about this type of topic recently. I decided that i wanted to talk about this because it s been very apparent that it s just been something very apparent in my life.

That has been kind of a motivating factor to why i do a few things that i do and why i haven t really shared a lot about my relationships here on youtube on my instagram. Just in general on social media. And it s also been kind of an issue in a reoccurring issue in a lot of my relationships that i ve had in the past few years. So i thought i d be something that i can share with you guys and hopefully it can help you or it can open up your eyes to the different types of people in the world that there are like i guess i ll just get started as you guys can see from the title.

This is about being a bisexual and pansexual and how that has affected a lot of my relationships. I am not bisexual and pansexual. I ve talked about it before on my channel. But not for a really long time if you have seen my coming out video coming out to my dad.

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I said i like a girl right now and it doesn t mean i m a lesbian doesn t mean i m bisexual that word just doesn t fit me. And that is because i m pansexual and i found that out after coming out obviously exploring different terms. And what fit best for who i feel like i am. When i found this term.

It was probably when i was watching a youtube video or something like that and it just basically means that you fall in love with a human with um with the person that thought human it and it doesn t matter. What they identify as it doesn t mean that i m attracted to every single person that walks this planet. It doesn t mean i m attracted to every single item or thing. I think that s a different thing.

I think that might get confused too. But it doesn t mean i m attracted to everything or everyone so the reason. Why this has been kind of a reoccurring issue in my life is because in relationships. I ve been in the past two relationships that i was in i ll start with the first one.

I was in a light ship with a girl and she was really concerned with me wanting to be with guys and then in my relationship. Right after that i was with a guy. And he was really concerned with me wanting to be with girls which i think they both didn t understand the term and i think they both didn t understand who i was and they tried to get to know me they tried to get to know the term. But i think it might be really hard for somebody who isn t open to exploring their sexuality to understand so for me this has been a problem because it creates a lot of frustration on both ends.

One person not feeling secure in the relationship. Which has been the other person and one person dealing with the backlash of the other person not feeling very secure in the relationship and i think both times. I tried my best to make the other person comfortable. And it just happened to be a really big issue over and over again.

I guess i ll just describe a little bit more the problems that i face as being a pansexual like i was saying earlier. People think that that means i m attracted to every single thing that walks this planet. And that s just not true at all i m actually for me personally obviously other pansexuals or bisexuals might feel completely different. But for me personally i am attracted to less people than the average person.

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I am not attracted that everything that walks. I m attracted to a very select few people and it has to do with with who they are as a person how they interact with me and just are jet like if we bond and for me. I bonded a lot of people as friends. But i don t bond a lot of people in that way in kind of like an emotional relationship or sexual way.

I don t for me. I m actually attracted a lot less like a less amount of people so the way. I describe this in the past has been say there s 20 girls and 20 guys. In a room and a guy might be attracted to like three of the girls and a girl might be attracted to like five of the guys or vice versa or however.

Many number and when people think of me they think that i m attracted to both all 20 of these people and all 20 of these people when in reality. I m attracted to like maybe one of these people. And maybe one of these people or maybe. None of them.

It s a little bit later and i totally forgot to say that another problem that i face is people. Assuming. That pansexual also somehow means polyamorous um. I ve had family members of the person.

I m dating assume and tell the person. I was dating that that probably meant that i was hooking up with other people during the span of our relationship. And that is completely false and has nothing to do with being pansexual or bisexual polyamory. Is when you basically have different relations chips and you re not in a monogamous relationship.

Which is completely separate from the topic. So i just wanted to clarify that polyamory is completely separate from being bisexual or pansexual and polyamory could actually be in straight couples relationships. So that really has nothing to do with with this topic and it s just like i m not polyamorous and just pansexual. It s just been hard because i think in both relationships.

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It s been uncomfortable for the person that i ve been with because they think that every girl in the room. I m attracted to or everybody every boy in the room. I m attracted to when i am building a friendship and i am really close to somebody that that means that i m attracted to them and instead of getting to know when asking me hey are you attract to this person. It s been a fight.

It s been a fight. It s been a fight so it s been really frustrating being in relationships with people that kind of don t understand how sexuality works. Because i ve also been in relationships where a person understands and that doesn t become an issue there s no issue when the person understands. But yeah i wanted to talk about it because i know might be really hard for others out there that are in the same boat as me or happen in the same boat.

As me and kind of have a sexuality that not like the majority understands it s hard. But i also don t wish i was anybody else and i m happy to be who i am. It s only hard in relationships. I don t really get like bully or anything for it hopefully.

I won t in this video. But yeah. I don t really talk about my sexuality. A lot because i did online in the past.

And it just seemed to be like the one thing that everybody wanted to know more about instead of getting to know me i was like a human being rather than a sexuality. So that s why i don t know i didn t really talk. I didn t want to talk about it a lot on my channel um and then i also don t really talk about in my personal life. Because a lot of my friends and family know who i am and they completely understand me and they completely get me.

So i just don t have to talk about it with them. Which has been amazing and like i m so lucky that i have such a supportive family and friends so i know that i am really lucky in that way and that s why i don t really talk about in my personal life. But i did want to bring it up and mention on here because in the past few relationships that i ve had it has been something that s been an ongoing issue that i ve noticed and i just thought somebody out there is probably going through the same thing and my best advice to you is try to explain it to them in the best way that you know how and if that person loves and cares about you and you love and care about them then you guys are gonna figure it out and if not then you guys can part ways and figure yourselves out on your own and i think that s what i learned for myself is i have to be with someone not already going into it understands who i am and understands and accepts who i am because the first time. I was in a relationship with somebody that didn t understand and didn t accept it and then i was going into a relationship who didn t understand.

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But tried to accept it and that also didn t work and i think you have to really want to understand and you have to really understand especially if someone loves you they re going to make the effort to understand and then they re going to actually understand because there comes a point where making the effort to understand. But still fighting with you about it is not going to work it s not gonna last. And it s not gonna be okay. That s it i i also wanted to say like the reason.

Why i added bisexuals into this video is because they kind of go you know it s kind of it s a very similar situation. I m sure i am sure everyone i dated thought. I was bisexual pansexual. Which you know if you just think of it very broad.

It s very similar it s it s almost the same thing. So yeah. If you guys think. It is the same thing then you guys need to do some research.

But it s not the exact same thing. But it is very similar so i thought i d bring it into this video. Too because i m sure a lot of my sexuals have to go through this same exact situation. Where they might be dating somebody that just doesn t understand them or doesn t accept them.

And if you guys are going through this or have been through this and know different ways to deal with it leave it in the comments down below. And i guess i ll just talk to you guys in my next video. I hopefully i hopefully i say that every time hopefully you guys like this video. If you did give it a thumbs up and let me know in the comments down below your experiences that you ve been through follow me on instagram and twitter.

And i ll see you ” ..

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