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At a certain point. I realized hey wait a second you know if itss so easy to lose. Jim carrey who the hell is jim carrey im looking backward why dont we just it was more like youre supposed to say you know were important youre supposed to say.
Its all going to be alright and youre supposed to say that you know whatever you dream can come true. And youre supposed to say all those things i do believe in manifestation power of that kind of stuff. But i dont believe that any of it matters.
You know this mattering is is to me a human construct born out of a need to same need is you have to have you know deities and things like that and i believe in an energy of god energy of you know everything is divine. You know theres just not theres no theres no thing that isnt divine everything is divine and im that and it doesnt matter to me. Whats happening.
Im finding that ultimately the the freedom from it is is something people are kind of hungry for it away. Theyre like i dont want to be me either right you know and i and i go well look great.
Because you never have been i believe that i had to become a famous you know idea and get all the stuff that people dream about and that accomplished a bunch of boy a bunch of things that means dont you you know that that look like success in order to give up my attachment to those things. Its been a part of the evolution of egos is to spend your first half of your life. Acquiring and adding thinking you can add to yourself and and it looks great i mean it looks great when you got a cool car.
And you got a good nice clothes and you know and youre and youve done something that people admire. But it can never fulfill you you can ever be happy you know what i mean. Its not its not where happiness comes from and you know i dealt with depression.
You know a few years ago and people still think while hes going through you can tell hes depressed. Its not i havent known literally none. I have sadness and joy and elation and satisfaction and gratitude beyond belief.
But all of it is wetter and it just spins around the planet. You know.
Its not it doesnt settle me enough to kill me the happy place is realizing that youre everything you know. And that theres no real you involved in the first place yeah. Its a so its a weird little semantic jump that you make where it sounds like well thats totally fucking threatening man.
I cant i cant not be me i built this construct and its just ideas theyre just ideas you know the only thing that separates you from an african american or an african canadian is an idea you know and oh and the weather the adaption to the climate and whatever. It is i dont believe in any of it and and so the feeling of wholeness is is a different feeling than meanness. Theyre all characters that i played including jim carrey.
Including joel barish including any of those things theyre all characters you know they jim carrey was a less intentional character right because i thought i was just building something that people would like but it was a character you know so its you know i played the guy that was free from concerns. So that people who watched me would be free from concern you know and in that at a certain point you go like okay well thats great. But you know its like the one thing.
I like people talk about depression all the time the difference between depression and sadness sadness is just you know from happenstance whatever happened or didnt happen for you or you know grief or whatever. It is and depression is your body saying fuck you i dont want to be this character anymore.
I dont want to hold up this this avatar that youve created in the world. Its too much for me right you know and you should think of the word. Ive depressed as deep rest deep rest your body needs to be depressed.
It needs deep rest from the character that youve been trying to play you know the great and powerful oz. Im the great powerful oz. Oh.
Daddy you got me you know kind of thing. And youre just the sweaty guy behind the curtain conrad. Its an amazing metaphor you know in that movie what up with the liar.
You know what im gonna do about this. Its a pretty name that really is nice. Its uh means merciful right afternoon.
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